A Day of Silence

Today we practiced a day of silence in the monastery. It was a welcomed relief from the hectic schedule of the past two and a half weeks. It seems odd that I could come all the way out here to the high desert of New Mexico, spend time in a room with few distractions, take classes on the spiritual life, eat meals with like-minded seekers, gather for prayer five times a day, engage in spiritual direction twice a week, and still find it hard to settle myself down to reach God in prayer.

But today was different. I still went to the chapel for prayer times and mass, attended a gathering with my class in the orchard to plant a tree, ate meals in community, and spent time outside enjoying the air and the views. But it was a day in which I listened rather than talked, strolled rather than raced, rested rather than asserted, and received rather than initiated.

There were many kindnesses in this day. There was the accompaniment of friends as we gathered to pray. The twelve who came to the orchard to offer a dedication and plant a tree together after breakfast. The man who joined me in the private chapel for midday prayer. The monk at lunch who whispered that he has something to give me. The people at my table who helped me keep silence when others around us were talking. The men who teamed up with me to wash dishes in the kitchen after the meal and the two women who popped in to give me hugs. There was also the freshly cleaned room I returned to in the early afternoon as I went there to rest. And the tapping on my door by a woman who asked if I'd like to help her clean the Statue of St. Benedict and didn't mind when I declined in favor of taking a nap. And then there was the poignant witnessing of a whispered apology in the chapel by one of the brothers to a nun over something that had occured between them and hearing her gracious reply.

After Compline, as the sun was setting, I took a long, slow walk around the monastery grounds. I relished stretching my legs on the track, feeling the cool evening air on my skin, seeing the darkening clouds and flashes of lightening in the sky, and savoring the close of another wonderful day. Returning to my room, I thought of my mother-in-law, who is celebrating her birthday today. I turned on my computer to send her a birthday wish, and found a nice note waiting from my husband.

I set out on this trip with hopes of learning to listen to God and hear His voice more clearly. And today I think I did. For God is love, and of that great love, my heart is full.

- Posted from my iPad