My Intentional Camino: On My Way to the Sea!

Having wrestled away my bag of stuff from most probably a twelve inch high masked intruder who arrived at my campsite by dusk, I spent my first night cozily tucked inside my little Poustinia by the South Carolina Sea.

What began as an auspicious start quickly descended into a time of trial and well, if not pain, then in what COULD HAVE BEEN suffering and disaster :)

As I headed out of my suburban driveway yesterday morning, with the "Chunky Doll" my mother made for me riding shotgun, I decided to swing by the library with my camper in tow to return the book that a friend recommended to me last week.

CAUTION:  Beware what you read!  It may inspire crazy ideas, or at least ideas that don't seem nearly as crazy as what that other person wrote about by comparison!

Anyway, as I was driving through the book return, I heard someone honking and calling my name.  And it was my friend Suzanne!  And she had said earlier that she wanted to be with me on this Camino!  And she was, right here in the Eva Perry Library parking lot!!!!

(Now tell me, when was the last time you felt this good running into a friend somewhere in town?  It's all about living intentionally!)

My Intentional Camino in 2015

I have been eyeing a deal I saw on the internet a few months ago and wondering whether I could use it as a spring board to launch my idea of the perfect Camino: taking my little A-frame camper to the beach and using it as a seaside hermitage, walking along the ocean with God in beauty and splendor by day and sleeping in the comfort of my Poustinia by night...for six weeks or 500 miles, whichever comes first! 

"Snowbird" 30-Day Camping Special 50% off at South Carolina Coastal State Parks

December 1, 2015 through February 28, 2015

Calling all snowbirds! Escape the cold of the North and come spend some extended time camping along the South Carolina coast this winter.

The South Carolina State Park campgrounds at Colleton, Edisto Beach, Givhans Ferry, Hunting Island, Huntington Beach, Myrtle Beach and Sesquicentennial (in Columbia) would like to offer you a 30-day campsite reservation at half price!  

There’s beautiful weather during this time of year in South Carolina and still so much to do on the park and in the nearby area.

To take advantage of this offer, here's what you need to do:

• Call one of the seven parks that you are interested in reserving your campsite, and make your reservation. You cannot make your reservation online or via the toll-free number. 
• Mention you are interested in the 30-day snowbird camping special. 
• Pay for your entire month (30 days) at the time of registration. 
• There are no refunds for early departure.  Arrive and enjoy your stay! 

With ideas of returning to work soon and wondering if I could squeeze a walk across northern Spain in while it is still wintry and cold, I looked at my calendar and saw that the 30 day discount offer window is nearly expired.  

Seeing a month of weekend activities dotting my calendar (things like a new Friday book group, a 2 day retreat with the Women of Grace, Sunday backpacking group outings, and a trip with my mom to Dallas to visit her brother), I had an idea.  How about if I took my camper to a beach less than a four hour's drive away and stayed there during the week while coming home on weekends to keep my appointments and restock before heading out again?

Excited by this idea (and yes, running it by my husband too,) I decided to begin this day by going to church and praying about it while I was there.   Father Staib opened the Mass saying that it was the Feast Day of St. Marianne Cope, a woman canonized in 2012 for her work with the lepers on Moloka'i, Hawai'i.  He said that when our new church in Apex, NC is completed, he would like to have relics of the Saints of Moloka'i enclosed in the altar.

This news thrilled me because I had "met" both of these saints less than 30 days before when I entered a rural church in Kuau'i.   There Sts. Damien and Marianne gazed back at me from their photos on the wall, looking out from eyes weary with work and deep with compassionate love. 

After purchasing a handmade rosary for my Uncle Jim as a remembrance of our time together in Hawai'i, I wanted to know more about her and learned that she was beatified on my birthday (of all days!) in 2005 and then canonized on October 21, 2012.

   

And so I have decided that my Intentional Camino will begin today, in the company of St. Marianne Cope, Patron of Outcasts.   And even as I type this I am enthusiastically mapping out my plan.   

And you know, a pilgrimage is never about just "me and God." So if you feel called to join me for some part of this journey that yes, begins today! then let me know and we'll take this beautiful walk together.  

Letter to Editor of NC Catholics 

January 21, 2015

Dear Rich,

You came to mind to me suddenly as I was making my weekly Eucharistic visit to a “down and out” assisted living facility here in Apex.  The halls are filled with the most marginalized of our citizens who are poor or black or mentally ill or forgotten … and often all of those factors combined.   My parish priest asked me to see a woman in her 70’s with Bipolar Disorder whom he has known through the years, and through my ministry to her I have met other residents and people in the home and heard bits and pieces of their stories.  

In December we went with our senior citizen group to bring a little Christmas cheer.  When I saw one of our men sitting in his car outside the facility as I left, I asked him about it the next day.  He is an MIT graduate (perhaps a Rocket Scientist!) and said he couldn’t hear well nor understand what the people were trying to say, so he felt uncomfortable and decided to wait outside in his car for his wife to get through with the party.  But something funny happened while he was inside, he said, because he suddenly saw his neighbor come in and go to visit someone down the hall.  His neighbor came back out to him and said, “I am visiting one of the new residents here….he was the former commander of a nuclear submarine and I served on one myself.  Would you like to join us?”  And sure enough, this man from my church had served on a submarine too…and the three men reminisced and formed community in this little forgotten place … and God was so clearly the orchestrator of it all…

Over the course of the months and I don’t know, perhaps two years, that I have been going there, my ministry has expanded to include a few other Catholic residents whom I was introduced to as I made my rounds.  Then one day I felt compelled to ask one of the nursing aids if she was a Catholic and whether she would like to receive the Eucharist too.  She hesitated at first, but then said “yes”, and when I suggested we recited the “Our Father” together, she remained silent while I said the prayer. She received and then I left.  The next week when I came, I offered again, and asked her if she would like to say the prayer. She responded that she had only learned the prayer in Spanish and this time I kept my mouth shut as she recited the prayer from her heart while chills ran up and down my spine. 

Each time I come, she looks eagerly for me and receives.  Today I stayed with her a while and asked her about her life.  And this is why you came to mind and why I am contacting you.   She told me her story:  as a young girl growing up in Guatemala she was about 6 years old when her mother abandoned the family and left her to raise her younger siblings.  After seven years she was ordered to join her mother in the US or be cut off from her family for life.  She came and married and had a son.  She is 30 years old today and her son is 11…she is working as a nurse’s aid at this assisted living facility, has a second job at Target in Holly Springs, is pursuing her nurses license at Wake Tech and raising her son.  And through all of this she feels nothing but blessed.  

She said that her husband was abusive and after several violent attacks she finally had the courage to trust God and leave him with her son in tow.  She prayed that her son would have the strength to leave him too, and then called the police to report the rape that sent her out of the situation and sent her husband to jail and then through deportation back to Guatemala. 

And through it all, she had experienced the deep presence of God.  He encouraged her to wake up to her situation and then provided the resting places to help her build her new life on her own with her son.  She said that she has the goal of becoming a Nurse Practitioner one day and is working toward it each day.  And she welcomes the chance to tell her story to others so that they may be encouraged in their own situations to walk forward and trust God. 

Rich, I am a privileged woman in my early 50’s with a college education and a newly empty nest.  I have my own challenges that are very different from hers and yet this woman’s courage and strength and raw faith in God help me with my own walk in faith as I try to trust God in helping me decide what to do with the “second half” of my life.

As I talked with her this morning, I thought how publishing her story in the NC Catholics could be such a light of faith for others and it could possibly bring opportunities to her life as well.  And so I asked her if she might be willing to have her story published and she said yes as she gave me her number. 

Rich, our diocese is full of the goodness and presence of God working in our daily lives and helping to build us up in faith. Thank you for spreading the Gospel through your wonderful ministry at NC Catholics.

Sincerely,

Ronda Watts
St. Mary Magdalene Church

Oxford University

Rain dots our view as my mother and I watch the lush green countryside through the train windows on our way from Oxford to York.   At first six nights seemed too long to stay, but in the end my daughter Courtney was two days delayed in meeting us in her university town, and we enjoyed the time sightseeing and finding the necessary supplies to turn her dorm room into a cozy home.

My "mum" and I stayed in a welcoming B&B called Heather House, a short ten minute's walk from Courtney's dorm.  From there, she walks over lovely Magdalen Bridge and is suddenly amid the towering spires of Oxford.  While it is one overarching university, Oxford is comprised of 39 colleges, each with its own tutors and students and buildings and churches and grounds, and wide range of courses to study.

During our time there, the students arrived in waves.  We could feel the town literally expanding and contracting as cars and luggage and parents and students came and departed once again.  First the international visiting students arrived, then the regular three year students, and finally the freshers.

Because so many came from abroad, we were all competing for the same types of things: SIM cards for cell phones, sheets and blankets for twin beds, towels and tea pots and extension cords, and...until it became a type of scavenger hunt that happened to serve as an excellent introduction to the town!

And Oxford is full of stunning buildings, magnificent gardens, international people, and wonderful restaurants and shops.  It has stunning museums like Pitt Rivers in which one can walk amongst towering skeletons of elephants and horses and polar bears, and whales; artifacts like Sri Lankan Disease Demon Masks; and insect collages displaying the array and beauty of their many varieties.  And these wonders of nature are all displayed in a cathedral like building build especially to house them, topped with an arched glass ceiling that raises one's heart and mind to the wonders of God.

After a pot of tea and a quick sandwich in the museum cafe, we walked down a leafy sidewalk and peeked through a gate of an estate surrounded by a lush lawn and spectacular perennial garden.  We noticed a sign indicating that visitors were welcomed to enter the grounds through a gate around the corner.  So we went down the block and stepped inside and found ourselves standing in the Administration Building for Rhodes Scholars, with portraits of Nelson Mandela and Bill Clinton on the wall.  Through a door and out into the garden, we sat for a while imagining what it would be like to be a scholar who had come to learn and to grow and to exchange ideas in the service of becoming a leader for change and understanding between countries in the world.

And I could really see how time spent in this place called Oxford University could help one to aspire, to dream, to work, and to become the very best version of who he or she was created to be.  And its effects are on not only the scholars themselves, but also on regular people, like my mother and I, who pass through for such a very short time, yet are somehow inspired by that same spirit of learning.

Awesome and Brilliant!

Friends, I have a Confession to Make...

And the confidence that I want to share with you is that I have been feeling emotionally wobbly of late.  Prone to tears.  Excited for the new adventures awaiting my kids at school this year (Connor is a freshman at Appalachian State and Courtney a junior at University of North Carolina who will be studying abroad), but wondering what might become of me.

When I first began working, I wanted to be the CEO, and then I wanted to be a working mom who did it all, then I just wanted to stay home with my kids, and now, after sixteen years, I wonder what to do next.

And so I feel a little weepy.  And I find that I have been pulling away from the things I used to do .... to free myself up...for what?

So, this morning I was dragging a bit when I got out of bed and prepared for the day.  I brewed a pot of coffee, baked some almond croissants for a treat, and then read the scriptures outside on my deck for a little while.  Then Jim came downstairs and I realized it was time to get ready for Mass.  Could I be ready in fifteen minutes?  Um, no.  But I tried.

When I finally rolled into the parking lot at church and hurried toward the door, I could hear the entrance hymn being sung inside:

Come to the feast of heaven and earth! Come to the table of plenty!

God will provide for all that we need, here at the table of plenty.

Realizing I was late, I decided to walk calmly inside and stand near the door in the rear.  There were families everywhere and as I scanned the seats, I  wondered where I might try to squeeze in.  Before long, the head usher Bob peered down the aisle, and after he asked someone to scoot over, he motioned for me to come in and sit down.  

As I walked up the aisle, I saw my friend Liz with her family, and my deceased father's coworker from twenty-six years ago, Harry and his wife Joanmarie.  The woman who had to move over for me gave me a smile, and I settled down as the scripture readings were proclaimed.  I sang along with my husband from afar as he and the choir led us in the Psalm Response: 

Praise the Lord my Soul.  Bless the name of God!

Then the Gospel was read--it was the one about the generous vineyard owner who paid all of his servants a full day's wage, regardless of when they began their day's work in his fields.   Our pastor spoke to us about economics and wage inequality and feelings of envy that inevitably crop up, even in our families, when we compare ourselves to others.  

And he said that Jesus's parables are often inscrutable and we have to ponder them and tease out their meanings for ourselves.  I agree with this.  I think that we can take the Word of God, or the events in our daily lives (such as shopping for a bag, which I wrote about yesterday) and try to glean meaning in them for ourselves, and come away with a deeper understanding of our lives and of God.

After the homily, we recited the Profession of Faith known as the Apostle's Creed, we prayed for the needs of the Church and for the world, we took up a collection, and then presented the gifts to be offered during the Sacrifice of the Mass.  Then we sang.

Open my eyes, Lord.  Help me to see Your face. 

Open my eyes, Lord.  Help me to see.

Our priest held our gifts of bread, wine, and our very selves in his hands at the altar, and presented them to God. 

May the Lord accept the sacrifice at your hands

For the praise and glory of His name,

for our good, 

and the good of all His holy Church. 

United in the assembly, we recited The Lord's Prayer and held hands with each other as we prayed. 

At the Sign of Peace, my energy began to return to me as the woman beside me clasped my hand, smiled, and said, "Peace be with you.  And I love your hair!"   Then I turned to the family behind me and shook their hands.  Turning the other way, I saw my friend Liz again and both she and her daughter stepped out of their row to kiss me on the cheek and wish me peace.  And then I saw John, a man in his 80's whom I used to see at daily Mass years ago.  He recognized me and even called me by name. Then dad's coworker Harry and his wife Joanmarie looked over at me and smiled and mouthed the words of peace to me as I did the same to them.

Lamb of God, you take away the sins of the world, have mercy on us.  

Lamb of God, you take away the sins of the world, have mercy on us. 

Lamb of God, you take away the sins of the world, grant us peace. 

My eyes were riveted to the hands of the priest now, who held up the bread that we had offered and that now, through the words of consecration, had become the Body and Blood of our Lord Jesus Christ. 

Behold the Lamb of God,

behold Him who takes away the sins of the world. 

Blessed are those called to the Supper of the Lamb.   

I recollected myself as I said with the others, "Lord, I am not worthy that You should enter under my roof, but only say the word and my soul shall be healed."  

Joyfully we walked forward to receive the Lord, hidden in the Eucharist, as we happily sang:

I, the Lord of sea and sky,

I have heard my people cry.

All who dwell in dark and sin

My hand will save.

I who made the stars of night,

I will make their darkness bright.

Who will bear My Light to them?

Whom shall I send?

Here I am, Lord.  Is it I, Lord?

I have heard you calling in the night.

I will go, Lord, if you lead me.

I will hold your people in my heart.

When all who came forward had received Holy Communion or a blessing, the deacon purified the vessels that had held the sacred Host, and the remaining Hosts were carried up to the Tabernacle to be reserved for distribution to those who could not be present and for those who will stop by the chapel during the course of the week to pray. 

Then the priest stood up and making the Sign of the Cross, offered the final blessing over the us:

May almighty God bless you:

the Father, and the Son, + and the Holy Spirit.  

Amen.

And the deacon proclaimed:

Go in peace, glorifying the Lord by your life.

And you know what?  Somewhere during the course of the hour, the life returned to my body and I could feel myself looking up and out with a smile toward others.   Truly, I had experienced my own little resurrection from the dead.  

 Praise God!

The Parable of the Bag

In two weeks my daughter will be off to England for her junior year abroad at Oxford University and we are attending to all of the last minute details to get her ready.  For one thing, we have to secure her VISA, which is no small matter and indeed of great concern, but we are also thinking of other less weighty matters that will help her to adjust to her new life overseas...

When I was twenty-two, I embarked on a great adventure myself, and moved to New York City at the invitation of my cousin Anne.  And she, too, saw to the details of what I would need when I arrived.  She helped me land a job at her company OAG on Madison Avenue and 52nd, scored me an apartment on West 68th and Broadway and living with two of her friends, secured me a place in her summer house in Montauk at the tip of Long Island, and introduced me to my new best friend Diane who was her own friend's little sister.  What more could I possibly ask?!

She did have one other suggestion, and we went right out to purchase it shortly after I arrived:  a large black leather bag from a really nice store to carry my shoes (this was the 80's and everyone wore comfortable walking shoes before arriving at their destination and putting on the better looking pair before going inside!)

And so yesterday I thought I might like to get something like that for Courtney.  We decided to look for a small purse with a cross body strap to help her carry her valuables while keeping her hands free.  Then we thought a wallet with a wrist strap might do the job.  But then she thought she might also like a bag to carry her laptop in, and possibly something that would look presentable for her upcoming dinners and teas with various dignitaries that her job with UNC professor Dr. T will require her to attend, one that wouldn't look too ungainly for her petite stature, and one that would hold up to the weather in London.

And so we went shopping.  We looked at wallets and clutches and purses and bags.  We compared them based on how they would coordinate with her various coats and boots, how versatile they might be for a walk to class or a dinner out, how heavy they would be to carry, and evaluated them on how strong their handles would be to support the weight of the computer.  Most of all, we cared about how much she liked any given one, how nice it felt, and how comfortable it was to use.

So after several hours of considering virtually everything there was in the store, we bought a really cute brown leather bag that seemed perfect.  When we got home, Courtney ran to get her laptop to see if it would fit inside, and to our dismay, it didn't.

But the bag was adorable!  Couldn't she find some other way to carry her computer?  How about using a backpack for her laptop and the leather bag for her purse and shoes?  Because she is so limited on what she can take to the UK (only 50 pounds of things in her suitcase!), we decided to return to the store to see if we could find something else.   And there it was:  the perfect bag!  It was tailored and black and roomy and water resistant and just the right size for her.  It also had a laptop sleeve inside!  We found a cross body bag and a simple wallet that would help her sort her new currencies too.

Still in the glow of excitement from last night's purchase today, Courtney and I sat down and discussed "The Parable of the Bag."

What is that?

Well, when I remarked at how amazed I was that throughout our arduous shopping trip she was able to hold out for the bag that met her considerable criteria, the one that was not a compromise, but the one that would suit all of her needs,  I asked her how she had so much hope and faith that "the perfect bag" would somehow be there.

Courtney simply answered that she was able to ultimately find the best bag for her because she did not compare the merits of each bag with the others, but held out for the bag that met the criteria she had in mind, the criteria that would not make it so much "the perfect bag", but rather "the perfect bag for her."

And I thought how differently I go about choosing things:  the best of what's there,  the one that is on sale, the one that is the best value, the one that is the most practical, or the one that someone else would choose.  And I noticed that all of these criterion are based on external factors rather than on something specific to me.

Then I thought about what God is like in this regard.  And I am absolutely certain that He is less interested in how I might conform myself to a given situation, to try to make something fit that doesn't really, or to be satisfied with the status quo and settle for less than my dreams.

No.  What God truly desires is for me to have the friends, the jobs, the experiences, the sorrows, and the joys that this world has to offer that are a particular combination of *my personal desires* and *His generous provision.*

And then I marveled that He has proven time and again that He will go out of His way (read: coincidences, God-incidences, and miracles too) to give me the absolutely best life that He can that is also and especially tailored to me.

And He has in mind a life for you that is tailored for you too!

Wow.

Queen of Poland

Last week at Connor's soccer practice, I was standing by the fence with another parent who had moved to the U.S. from Korea a few years ago.  He said that he owed his Christian faith to a wonderful Baptist preacher in Lousianna whom he and his family met shortly after they arrived.  Now in NC, they have found a new church home, this time for Korean Baptist believers.  And he had a question for me, "Can you tell me what Catholics believe about Mary?"

I said that we honor Mary because she is the mother of Christ.  We do not believe that she is God, but in response to our prayers,  she can and will intercede for us before the throne of her son Jesus.

And then he asked me where she is mentioned in the Bible, and we talked about some of the passages found in Genesis (in response to the sin of Adam and Eve, God promised a Savior, born of a woman, who would crush the head of the serpent), the Gospel of Luke (when the Angel Gabriel came to get Mary's consent to bear a child whom she would name Jesus and the miracle at the wedding feast of Cana when Mary told Jesus that they had run out of wine and then told them to "Do whatever He tells you"), in the Gospel of John (when from the cross Jesus says to His beloved diciple, "Behold your mother" and with that the apostle John took her into his heart and into his home...as all Christians are invited through him to do), and Revelation (when the woman appeared in the sky clothed with the sun and the moon under her feet who was pregnant and in labor while the dragon waited to devour her child.)  With that, he thanked me and then our attention returned to the action on the soccer field.

Thirty two years ago when I was a freshman at UNC,  I was asked a similar question and I had no answer for my roommate who wanted to know if Catholics worship Mary.  It had never occurred to me to think critically about my faith, instead I just knew and accepted the fact that I was Catholic.  It was not until I was challenged by people wanting to know more of what we believed that I began to question and seek answers to the teachings of the Catholic faith.   And for that I am so grateful!  So many of us carry what we learned as children into our adulthood until we fear we have somehow outgrown our childhood beliefs.  And so we must go through a second conversion in which we inform our adult minds and accept anew the faith that will sustain us through the ups and downs in this life.

And that brings me back to Mary.  I knew of her presence in the Biblical accounts, but have since learned that she has appeared through the years in visions to various groups of people around the world.  Some of the names I have personally come to know her by are Our Lady of Guadalupe (Mexico), Our Lady of the Americas (North, Central  and South America), Our Lady of La Van (Vietnam), Our Lady of Kibeho (Rwanda), Our Lady of Fatima, Our Lady of  Lourdes, Our Lady of Perpetual Help, Our Lady of Grace, Our Lady of Sorrows, and so many more.

Last fall I sought her intercession under the title of Our Lady Undoer of Knots (Germany) which I heard about when I purchased her statue and novena booklet at a local conference.  In return for her help in finding Father Symeon a position as a diocesean priest with a U.S. Bishop, I promised to make a pilgrimage in thanksgiving to the U.S. Shrine of Our Lady of Czestochowa in August 2013.  The promise tied in with my desire to walk the Camino in Spain, a thirty day 500 mile pilgrimage to the Shrine of St. James.  This walk is much shorter, only three days walking from the church of Sts. Peter and Paul in NJ to the National Polish Shrine near Philadelphia.  And I wanted to somehow talk Fr. Symeon into walking with me.

Just a few weeks later, Fr. Symeon did land a position with the Catholic Bishop of the Diocese of Wheeling-Charleston in West Virgina.   And I found myself fulfilling my promise this August, not to the Shrine of Our Lady of Czestochowa in Pennsylvania, but to the Shrine of Our Lady of Czestochowa in Poland!  It is the top pilgrimage site in a country devoted to the Blessed Virgin and the place of the miraculous image of the Black Madonna, venerated by the people for the Blessed Mother's answer to their prayers in times of great oppression.

And then I realized afterward that I not only visited the shrine with Fr. Symeon at my side, but we were there on August 2, his Ordination Anniversary too!    As we stood with the kids in front of the blessed image and heard mass being said, I brought with me my many intentions and those of everyone whom we would meet on our trip and all who would ask it about it later or read my blog (And since God is outside of time and space, you can go ahead and offer your prayer intentions right now.) And I asked Mary to protect us and guide us and teach us to follow her son.

And in yet another surprise from God, I realized as I sat down to write about this experience today, that it is August 26th, none other than The Feast of Our Lady of Czestochowa....now that is simply amazing!

Our Lady of Czestochowa, pray for us!

Reference: http://www.theholyrosary.org/maryundoerknots