Have no anxiety at all (Phil 4:6)

Anxiety: I noticed it for the first time when I faced the unrelenting academic pressure as a young adult in college and then again when I lived and worked in Manhattan.

I see it again from time to time as I reach out to reenter the job market after raising our kids.

It is tempting to just grab control of the reins and take any job to help meet our financial goals rather than wait on God and His providence.

So rather than force a solution to my current dilemma, when anxiety hits I try most of all to keep my eyes on God and His vision for me and my life.

Fr. Cameron's editorial in the Magnificat magazine this month talks about anxiety in the context of the Disciples' reaction to the Risen Christ.

"With the single exception of sin, anxiety is the greatest evil that can happen to a soul." St. Francis de Sales

It is a fear of the unknown--a fear of a disagreeable situation that is unforeseen and unforeseeable, a fear of future misfortune. It is also a worry of being insufficient to meet life's challenges.

I think that fundamentally, it is a lack of belief in God and/or a trust that He is with me in all things.

Anxiety is also a sometimes insistent and uncomfortable invitation to give my worries to God.

"Living in dependence on God means not being one's own master, not wanting to take charge of the world oneself; it means saying good-bye to the dream of autonomy and of being one's own boss, it means recognizing that we cannot do it on our own, and learning to accept our life day by day from his hands, without anxiety and full of confidence." Pope Benedict XVI

Praise God that I do not have to do life all on my own! ❤️

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Watts Out There: The Good Shepherd

Oh, just look at these sheep!

So innocent.

Content in their little group.

Chomping away on their ration of hay. 

So cuddly cute looking up at me 

from their secure wooden pen

 on that cold February morning

 at Brookgreen Zoo.

Do you think that God looks down on us this way?

I remembered these sheep today as we celebrated "Good Shepherd Sunday" at St. Mary Magdalene Catholic Church.

And I began to think of my life in a new way.

You see, I have always thought of myself as an independent person.  Self sufficient.  Able to adapt. As a girl whose family moved from Oregon to Michigan to New York to North Carolina, I didn't have life long friends or a sense of belonging to a particular community outside my family.  In college at UNC, my beliefs and values were tried and challenged as I struggled to emerge as an independent adult.

Not long after graduating, I jumped into an even bigger melting pot of people as I moved to Manhattan to begin my career.  In a large and vibrant city where anything and everything often goes, I met many people who seemed larger than life and even harder to believe!  But after a few years I married and moved back home.

And now even more years have been filled with marriage and children, extended family and friends, work and travels and...

Somewhere along the way, I have come to realize that my greatest happiness lies not so much in trying to be my most authentic self,  but rather in belonging to Someone greater than me.

Why is that?







Over the years when I have thought about what my and perhaps everyone's deepest desire is, it seemed to be this: to be known and loved for the person who I truly am.

Now I know that while I am of value and even precious just because I "am", I also realize that all that is in me is not particularly perfect or good ....  Much of what I see when I look down inside myself is self interested, self serving, self righteous and more.  I believe those things are there for protection because of the things I have seen, experienced, suffered, and now wish to avoid.

So along with that great desire to be known and loved, there is something else.  I know that I do not wish to be affirmed in all that I am, but rather, I deeply desire to become the best person that God imagines that I can be.

Why give that to God?  Because I trust Him to be truly good.  To have not just my best interests in mind, but also those of all the others I share this/His life with.  

So hearing the words of St. John proclaimed at Mass today, "Beloved, we are God's children now," my heart leapt with recognition that this is truly my deepest desire and my greatest joy.

And then I listened as Jesus announced, "I am the good shepherd.  A good shepherd lays down his life for his sheep.  A hired man who is not a shepherd and who's sheep are not his own, sees a wolf coming and leaves the sheep and runs away and the wolf catches and scatters them.  This is because he works for pay and has no concern for the sheep.  I am the good shepherd, and I know mine and mine know me,  just as the Father knows me and I know the Father; and I will lay down my life for the sheep."

Tonight I am thankful that through my Baptism, I belong to Jesus now.  He keeps me safe from the false shepherds and wolves that are always about, and leads me with the rest of His flock through green pastures and safe waters until we will one day reach our heavenly home.  Praise God!

A psalm of David.

The LORD is my shepherd;^*

there is nothing I lack.^a

2

In green pastures he makes me lie down;

to still waters he leads me;

3

He guides me along right paths^*

for the sake of his name.

4

Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death,^c

I will fear no evil, for you are with me;

your rod and your staff comfort me.

II

5

in front of my enemies;^*

You anoint my head with oil;^*d

my cup overflows.^e

6

Indeed, goodness and mercy^* will pursue me

all the days of my life;

I will dwell in the house of the LORD^f

for endless days.